Don't waste time processing backfill events that we never show to the client

[matrixbot]

This issue has been migrated from #15632.

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As discovered while working on matrix-org/synapse#15617 and a natural extension of matrix-org/synapse#15585 to process previously failed backfill events in the background (follow-up to matrix-org/synapse#13623),

It turns out, when we make a /messages request and trigger a backfill, Synapse will happily waste time trying hard to process events (_process_pulled_events) in the foreground that we end up never showing to clients. The one particularly bad culprit is the org.matrix.dummy_event which Synapse automatically puts in the DAG to resolve outstanding forward extremities. Since it has 10x random prev_events, it takes a while to fetch the state for each prev_event and persist. We determine whether some events should be shown to clients in the _check_filter_send_to_client(...) function

/~https://github.com/matrix-org/synapse/blob/ad50510a06d035a674f0eeed5db5dd3060bc0b1c/synapse/visibility.py#L482-L519

org.matrix.dummy_event can be particularly bad because they usually include a lot of disparate prev_events which take a while for us to work out the state for (long _get_state_groups_from_groups times).

Potential solution

We should use this same _check_filter_send_to_client(...) criteria when determining whether we should backfill a given event in the background or foreground.

We should be mindful an event that is filtered from the client, might still be used as a prev_event from another event in the backfill response that we will show to clients. And if we kick off the function to process org.matrix.dummy_event in the background, while the other event in the foreground, we will probably end up duplicating the work depending on the race.

We don't really have these same race -> duplicate work concerns with matrix-org/synapse#15585 (events which previously failed to backfill) because it's a "fool me once" sort of situation and they are already potentially disconnected from what we were trying to backfill anyway given they failed before.

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Also of interest, filter_events_for_server(...)